Bruce Schneier: The Facts | 0-Day Clothing: T-Shirts for Hackers, Engineers and Geeks

Welcome to our personal tribute to Bruce Schneier.

Here you can find a wide variety of apparel inspired in the famous Bruce Schneier Facts, started by the guys at Geekz.co.uk. Since they no longer sell their cool Schneier t-shirt, we thought we'd create our own version. For each fact, please choose between the cowboy and the martial arts design versions.

Fact #1

Bruce Schneier once killed a man using only linear cryptanalysis.

Fact #2

Bruce Schneier once decrypted a box of AlphaBits.

Fact #3

P = NP in Bruce Schneier's very presence.

Fact #4

Bruce Schneier gets the jokes in the Voynich MS.

Fact #5

Bruce found a secure way to reuse a one-time pad.

Fact #6

Bruce Schneier finds collisions by banging hashes together.

Fact #7

Bruce Schneier can log into any computer just by staring down the prompt.

Fact #8

Bruce Schneier knows how to generate a digital signature. Anyone's.

Fact #9

When Bruce Schneier does modulo arithmetic, there are no remainders. Ever.

Fact #10

Bruce Schneier taught Chuck Norris how to divide by zero as they stood silent in an elevator.

Fact #11

Bruce Schneier doesn't use keyloggers. He's standing right behind you.

Fact #12

The Dining Cryptographers always wait until Bruce Schneier has been served.

Fact #13

Anybody can invent a cryptosystem he cannot break himself. Except Bruce Schneier.

Fact #14

Compilers don't warn Bruce Schneier, Bruce Schneier warns compilers.

Fact #15

When Bruce Schneier uses double ROT13 encryption, the ciphertext is totally unbreakable.

Fact #16

For Bruce Schneier, SHA-1 is merely a compression algorithm.

Fact #17

Bruce Schneier doesn't keep secrets, they keep themselves out of fear.

Fact #18

Bruce Schneier once counted an infinite set. Backwards.

Fact #19

Bruce Schneier can conduct secure multiparty computation... on his own.

Fact #20

Bruce Schneier doesn't have a chin under his beard, just more ciphertext.

Fact #21

Bruce Schneier writes his books by generating a random text and then decrypting it.

Fact #22

There are no prime numbers. Only numbers that Bruce Schneier does not want you to factor.

Fact #23

Bruce Schneier mounts chosen-ciphertext attacks without choosing the ciphertext.

Fact #24

Every time Bruce Schneier smiles, an amateur cryptographer dies.

Fact #25

Bruce Schneier fully discloses his own vulnerabilities: none.